Ayup
"Ayup, you’re reyt? Tha’s made a right mess of it. Come in, stick t’kettle on then, and tell us what’s been happenin’."
Dead
"This queue for the tram is dead long, our kid, and it’s freezing. I’m dead starving, so let’s sack it off and hit the chippy."
Dead chuffed
"Won a tenner on the scratchies, then the gaffer let me knock off early. I was dead chuffed, heading home like a champ."
Nowt
"Been out all day? Nah, nowt really, just nipped t’Co-op for milk, got soaked, then stuck kettle on and had a brew."
Owt
"There’s nowt on telly and I’ve got nowt in fridge. Fancy doing owt tonight, like nipping t’pub for a quick pint, or are tha knackered?"
Owt for nowt
"Gaz says he’s won a free holiday off Facebook. Mam rolls her eyes, goes you don’t get owt for nowt, then checks the link."
Summat
"Eh, put kettle on and grab us summat to eat, I have been on me feet since six and I am fair clemmed."
Mardy
"We only ran out of gravy and he's sat there arms folded like a toddler. Pack it in, lad, you're being proper mardy over nowt."
Nesh
"It’s only 12 degrees and tha’s wrapped up like it’s January. Stop whinging, ya nesh beggar, and get outside, it’s reet."
Mither
"She's been mithering me all morning about the leaky tap. I said I would fix it after the match but apparently after the match is not an acceptable timeframe."
Ginnel
"Take the ginnel between the bakery and the bookies, saves you going all the way round. Watch the puddle halfway through, it has been there since 1987."
Barm
"Ey up, can I get a bacon barm and a proper brew, ta? Lad at the counter says roll. Nah mate, barm, don’t start that debate."
Pop
"I’m just popping to the shops, you want owt? Grab us a bottle of pop and some biccies, yeah. No kale, I beg."
Bait
"Aye, I’ve left me bait on the kitchen side, man. I’m gan to Greggs for a sausage roll, but it’s not the same, like."
Bairn
"Our bairn has got football practice on Saturday, can you drop her off, pet?"
Canny
"Howay man, that gig was canny good. Met a canny few mates after, had a couple pints, and still got home before me mam noticed."
Howay
"Howay, pet, stop fannying on, the match kicks off in ten. Grab ya coat and gan, we’re not missing the kick-off like."
Haddaway
"He says he ran a marathon last weekend. Haddaway, man, I saw him out of breath walking up the stairs to Wetherspoons on Friday and that is only twelve steps."
Whey aye
"You still coming down the Toon for a pint after work? Whey aye, man, I’ll gan meet you by Central, like, give us five minutes."
Gadgie
"Some gadgie at the bus stop started telling me his entire life story while I was just trying to eat my stottie in peace. Missed my bus and everything."
Clarty
"The bairn came back from the park absolutely clarty from head to toe, looked like he'd been wrestling in a bog, straight in the bath with him."
Radge
"Our Kev went radge at the airport, shouting at the desk staff, then stormed off for a tab while we tried to calm him down."
Mortal
"Aye, we just popped out for one, but by half nine he was mortal, canny as owt, and the bouncer had to call him a taxi."
Siling
"It were siling it down all morning and the dog still wanted his walk. Came back looking like a drowned rat, both of us, hallway carpet is done for."
Skrike
"We’d barely got in the car and he started skriking again, proper red-faced, like he’d been robbed of his last sweet."
Tyke
"That little tyke’s nicked me car keys and scarpered round t’sofa, proper chuffed wi’ himself. He’s three, but reckons he runs t’gaff."
Boss
"New trainers came this morning and they’re boss, la. Wore them into town and even the fella in the shop said they looked sound."
La
"Alright la, I’m nipping the chippy before the match, you coming or you staying in, chatting rubbish with your ma again?"
Bezzy mate
"That’s me bezzy mate, la, proper sound. I’d stand in the chippy queue in the drizzle for her, no moaning, even after she nicked me fags."
Devoed
"Found out the gig was sold out after I'd already got me outfit sorted and everything, I was devoed lad, proper gutted."
Jarg
"He showed up wearing jarg Nikes that said Nkie on the side. Thought nobody would notice but the whole pub clocked it before he even sat down, la."
Scally
"Them scallies are outside the offie again, la, revving their little bikes and gobbing off. I'm just trying to get home with me scran."
Wool
"Our Kev's chatting like he's from Kenny, but his accent's pure Runcorn. Stop grafting lad, you're a wool. Get the butties on."
Divvy
"Our Kev tried tapping his Walrus on the Merseyrail gate, kept beeping red, and goes, is it broke, la? Told him he’s a divvy."
Diddy
"Our kid turned up with a diddy little can of lager, all proud. Couldn’t even crack it open. That new kitten’s diddy as well, fits in me hand."
Antwacky
"He rolled up in an antwacky tracksuit straight out of a 90s garage video."
Mint
"Picked up new trainers for fifty quid, and they chucked in free socks. Mint. Let's nip for a pint and show them off."
Mad for it
"You coming Parklife, our kid? Mad for it. I’ve necked me brew, grabbed me bucket hat, and I’m off to Heaton Park, proper buzzing."
Bobbins
"Ordered a kebab from that new place and it was absolute bobbins. Dry meat, no sauce, and the salad looked like it had given up on life three days ago."
Our kid
"Sound, our kid, you coming into town later? I’ve just been paid, so let’s hit the pub for a couple pints and some scran."
Give over
"I’m telling thee, I could’ve gone pro at football. Give over, lad, tha can’t even trap a ball without falling ower."
Right
"Said I’d have one pint, ended up at the chippy at 3am. Came home a right mess, but it was a right laugh."
It's grim up north
"You coming up to Leeds this weekend? Bring a brolly, it’s grim up north. Still, we’ve got proper pies, cracking banter, and pints that won’t have your eyes out."
Twock
"Some lads twocked a Vauxhall Corsa off the estate and left it parked in a field with the hazards still on, proper effort that."
Croggy
"Bab, give us a croggy to school, I’m running late. Go on then, but don’t wiggle on the bars or we’ll end up in the hedge by the Spar."
Bostin
"That balti we smashed last night was proper bostin, bab. Get us back to Ladypool Road this weekend and I’m ordering the same again."
Bab
"Pop that on the counter for me, bab, and I'll bag it up. You want a receipt or are we saving the planet today? Either way, ta."
Cob
"Stopped at the greasy spoon and asked for a bacon cob. Lad behind the counter went, It’s not a roll, bab, and everyone nodded like gospel."
Brummie
"At the chippy he clocked my accent and went, Alright bab, you a Brummie or what? Had me smiling like I’d bumped into family."
Skeg
"Ay up, bab, have a skeg at that motor by the chippy, alloys gleaming. Bloke’s revving it like he’s late for his shift at Cadbury."
Duck
"Alright, duck, you after a bacon cob or what? Cheers, love, stick a brew on an’ all, I’m starving, ta."
Growler
"Dad’s a right growler before his brew. I got him a bacon butty and he still grunted, like the kettle was personally winding him up."