Butcher's
"Oi, have a butcher’s at this dodgy kebab I found on the Tube platform. If it moves, I’m off, bruv."
Have a butcher's
"Have a butcher's at the price on that, twenty quid for a sandwich and a cup of tea, daylight robbery."
Dog and bone
"Oi, jump on the dog and bone and call your mum, yeah? She’s been on my case all morning, ringing like I owe her a tenner."
Jam jar
"We’ll jump in the jam jar and shoot over to the gaff, yeah? Traffic’s murder round here, so don’t muck about or we’ll miss last orders."
Tea leaf
"Keep your wallet zipped on the Tube, bruv. I blinked and some tea leaf was already elbowing out the doors like nothing happened."
Porkies
"He reckons he pulled a supermodel in Spoons. Nah mate, he’s telling porkies, I saw him get pied off by the barmaid and spill his pint."
Bob's your uncle
"Stick the shelves up, two screws each, bit of filler, quick coat of paint and Bob's your uncle, the hallway looks proper sorted."
Sling your hook
"The landlord told the troublemakers to sling their hook."
Diamond geezer
"Dave rocked up at 4am, lobbed my suitcase in the boot and handed me a bacon sarnie. No moaning, just sorted it. Diamond geezer."
Geezer
"That geezer down the chippy clocked my flat tyre and had me sorted in ten minutes, no fuss, just a wink and safe, mate."
Guvnor
"Ask the guvnor if we can knock off early, it is dead quiet and the rain has not let up since lunch."
Bovver
"We don't want no bovver in here, lads, finish your drinks and take it outside if you're going to kick off."
Cushty
"Got the mate’s rates, the bus actually turned up, and the bouncer let us in. Cushty, bruv, now let’s hit the gig and grab a kebab."
Cream crackered
"Mate, I’m cream crackered, been up since sparrow’s fart, ran all over town, and the Central line was chaos. Cuppa, sofa, lights out."
On your bike
"Kev rocks up begging for a lift and a tenner. I’m outside Greggs in the drizzle, like, on your bike, mate, behave."
Do a runner
"Gary nicked the last sausage roll, the bouncer clocked him, and he did a runner out the kebab shop, leaving his mate to pay like a mug."
Toff
"That lad rocked up in tweed, ordered a gin flight, and moaned the crisps weren’t artisanal. Total toff vibes, everyone was creasing."
Toe rag
"He nicked the raffle tin at the village fête, then tried blaming the dog. Absolute toe rag, get in the bin before the neighbours start tutting."
Bung
"Bung the doorman a tenner and he might let you skip the queue."
Backhander
"Everyone reckons the builder only got the council job after slipping a backhander to the bloke in procurement, now they’re all acting innocent."
Bunce
"Had a random leccy refund hit my account on the bus. Nice bit of bunce, mate, I’m off to the chippy for a proper scran."
Dosh
"Right, I am a bit short on dosh this month, we doing the cheap pub or what?"
Spondulicks
"Can't come out tonight mate, absolutely brassic until payday, not a spondulick to my name and the fridge is just condiments at this point."
Quids in
"Grabbed a telly off Facebook Marketplace for twenty quid, cleaned it up, sold it for a ton. Proper chuffed, I’m quids in and the kebab’s on me"
Nice little earner
"He’s been flipping old records off his mum’s loft on eBay. Nice little earner, innit, few quid a pop and barely any graft."
Porridge
"Gaz got nicked shifting fake trainers and now he’s doing porridge for two years. That’s enough grey oats to wallpaper the whole wing."
Bobby
"Two bobbies were outside the station having a natter, so I told Kev to hide his Tesco meal deal before they clocked us."
Copper
"We were mucking about outside the chippy when the coppers rolled up, and suddenly everyone turned into an angel with somewhere urgent to be."
Rozzer
"Outside the chippy, Gaz nudges me: act normal, the rozzers are here. I’m holding a cone, thinking, mate, we’re literally just eating chips."
The plod
"The plod turned up after the neighbours grassed me up about the bass. I went all polite, then the second they left, it crept back up."
Pea-souper
"Stepped out the gaff and nearly walked into a bin, it’s a right pea-souper. Sat nav’s lost it, so I’m inching to the station."
Jolly good
"The train turned up on time and the Wi‑Fi even works. Jolly good, mate. Let’s call it a win and grab a cheeky pint."
Blimey
"Blimey, eight quid for a pint and they’ve got the cheek to call it craft. Come on then, let’s sack this off and find a proper boozer"
To doss down
"I was so wrecked after the party I just dossed down on his sofa."
Doss
"That mock exam was a doss, so we bounced early. Missed the last train and ended up dossing at Jay’s, three of us on one sofa."
Mug off
"He proper mugged me off, said he'd sort the tickets and then ghosted the group chat."
Mug
"He dropped 150 quid on a dodgy bag outside Stratford and acted gassed. Mandem told him straight, bruv, don’t be a mug."
The flicks
"You up for the flicks tonight? New horror's on at eight, and I'm skint, so we'll do cheap seats and sneak in some Pick and Mix."
Gong
"You hear about Mandy? She’s getting a gong at the Palace. About time, she’s been running the charity raffle and wrangling Karen from accounts for 20 years."