On the pull
"You on the pull tonight? New shirt, too much Lynx, straight to Spoons, trying to blag a number before last orders and the taxi queue gets feral."
Pull
"He pulled at the party and we did not see him again."
Snog
"Walked past the bus stop and they were snogging like it was the Love Island final. Dave goes, Oi save some oxygen for the rest of us, yeah?"
Shift
"Did you shift anyone at the disco last night? I shifted yer man in the GAA jersey behind the smoking area. I was only a small bit locked."
Chirpsing
"Man’s been chirpsing her all night, buying her Jägerbombs and chatting bare nonsense, but she’s just sipping her drink and airing him."
Doing bits
"Everyone could tell those two were doing bits because they kept disappearing for twenty minutes and coming back looking well flustered."
Fit
"You clock that new barista at the café by the station? Proper fit, mate. I spilled my flat white trying to act cool, absolute state of me."
Fit bird
"Gaz nudges Kev at the bar and goes, That barmaid’s a fit bird. Kev spits his lager, Mate, steady on, just order your chips."
Talent
"Any talent in this pub or is it just us and the fruit machine? Behave, mate, we’ve only just got our pints."
Totty
"Dave spotted some totty near the bar and started smoothing his shirt. I said, calm down, mate, you’ve got crisps in your beard."
Leng
"You seen the new barista on shift? Proper leng ting. I’ve copped three flat whites and I don’t even drink coffee, just to chat for ten seconds."
Peng
"She turned up in that red dress looking peng, then the chicken shop after was peng too, so we stayed chatting outside till late."
Reem
"Bruv, you’re looking reem tonight. Fresh trim, clean creps, smelling peng. Stop gassing yourself and come for a cheeky Nando’s."
Dishy
"Have you seen the new weather presenter? Bit dishy, if you ask me."
Stunner
"Saw Dan’s new girlfriend down the pub and nearly spilled my pint. Absolute stunner. Even his new motor looks a stunner after that dodgy wash."
Bang tidy
"She walked into the party in that red dress and everyone just stopped talking for a second, bang tidy she was, no question about it."
Bird
"Is that Dave’s new bird? Met her at the gig last week, proper sound, and she didn’t blink when Gaz started chatting rubbish."
Fella
"Is that your fella in the GAA top by the bar? If he starts doing the worm after two pints, I’m off home."
Jack the lad
"He rolled into the local skint, blagged two pints, chatted up the barmaid, then dipped in his mate’s cab. Proper jack the lad."
Loved up
"Saw Dan and Chloe outside Tesco Express, loved up, sharing one umbrella and chips like it’s a rom-com. Walked straight into a bollard staring."
Besotted
"He is absolutely besotted with the new puppy, talks about nothing else and has three hundred photos of it already."
Head over heels
"He's head over heels for her, turning up with Tesco flowers and offering to carry her bags. We met her Tuesday, and he's already planning Sunday roast."
Soppy
"Put the telly on and that John Lewis ad comes up, Dave’s sniffling into his sleeve. I’m like, Don’t be soppy, mate. He’s like, Leave it, the penguins got married."
Old flame
"Ran into my old flame at the supermarket and we both pretended the avocados were fascinating. Had a quick chat, then escaped before it got weird."
Hit it off
"Met her at the pub and we hit it off straight away. Ten minutes in we’re debating crisp flavours and lining up a Tesco meal deal mission."
Click
"It took a while, but when the trick finally clicked I could not stop doing it."
Knockback
"Applied for that bar job, got a knockback. Manager was all cheers mate, we’ll be in touch. I wasn’t, so I nipped next door for a pint."
Cwtch
"You’ve had a rough day, butt. Come over here, have a cwtch on the sofa, and I’ll stick the kettle on in a minute."
Fancy
"Do you fancy a walk? In this weather? Nah mate, I don’t fancy catching my death. Stick the kettle on, I’ll have a brew and a biccy."
Saucy
"The seaside shop still sells those saucy old postcards full of cheeky jokes."
Up the duff
"He rocks up to the pub and goes, Our Jess is up the duff. Baz spits his lager and says, Mate, you’d better start baby-proofing."
Preggers
"Did you hear Steph is preggers? Due in spring apparently, she has been off the wine for weeks and we never twigged."
Hen do
"Jess’s hen do was in full swing at Spoons, all in pink sashes. Two cocktails in, Kayleigh’s leading a conga and the bride’s lost her shoes."
Stag do
"We took Gaz on a stag do, stuck him in a giant baby outfit, and he tried paying for a kebab with his cufflinks. Absolute carnage."
Wear your heart on your sleeve
"Don’t ask Jess about the breakup, mate, she wears her heart on her sleeve. Five minutes in and she’s tearing up in the pub."