What it means
Absolutely freezing, the kind of cold that makes your face ache and your breath feel like glass. It’s the polite-ish shortcut for the ruder line cold enough to freeze the balls off a brass monkey, so you can moan about the weather without going full pub filth. Best deployed on grim winter mornings when even the kettle seems to be judging you.
Usage examples
"No chance I’m trekking to the pub, it’s brass monkeys out. Kettle on. If we’re going anywhere, you’re driving and I’m staying warm."
"It is absolute brass monkeys on the platform this morning, the train is twenty minutes late and the woman next to me is wearing two coats and still shaking."
"Bring a thicker jacket if you are coming to the match Saturday, the forecast says brass monkeys all day and the away end is fully open to the wind."
Where it comes from
Acts as the polite shortcut for the older phrase cold enough to freeze the balls off a brass monkey, which has been kicking around English at least since the nineteenth century. The full version is too crude for the bus stop or the school gate, so brass monkeys on its own does the same job with half the blush.
Other ways to say it
Editors of this term
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