Nicky lifted the picnic lid, took a sniff and slammed it shut.
“Who brought cheese that punches you in the face before you’ve tasted it?”
We’d brought bread and cherries. Pindle tucked his feet under the bench. He wanted to stay, but he’d spent the afternoon working out how to slip away.
Ferdie crouched down. Daisies were poking out of one boot. Poor Pindle had stuffed flowers inside to hide the smell. Now it smelled like sweaty feet at a wedding.
We sat beside him. Right, here’s what’s actually happening. Feet sweat to help cool the body. Fresh sweat has hardly any smell. Most of the stink comes from what the bacteria normally living on our skin do with it.
A closed boot traps warmth and moisture. Bacteria find food in substances in sweat and bits of shed skin. As they break these down, they make smelly molecules. We’ve given the little bastards a heated buffet.
Some bacteria, including Staphylococcus epidermidis, turn an amino acid called leucine into isovaleric acid. That’s the bit to remember. They use one substance and produce another that smells strong. It’s an actual chemical, not the fancy Latin name for your sock.
Some of those molecules escape into the air and reach your nose. That’s why you can smell a foot without touching it. Pindle had been trying to hide his boots under a napkin. Unfortunately, the air hadn’t agreed to stay underneath.
“Why the bloody cheese smell, though?” Ferdie asked.
Because that same acid also develops in some cheeses as they ripen. There’s a bit of shared smell chemistry, not an identical recipe. Other substances contribute too. Pindle wasn’t making cheddar. Nicky moved the butter knife away just in case.
Pindle tried to laugh, but his hands still gripped the bench. He was embarrassed to come closer. Ferdie stopped mucking about, sat right beside him and pulled off a boot.
“Come on. If we have to evacuate the woods, we’re doing it together.”
Pindle’s shoulders dropped. At last, he loosened a lace. We fetched soap and water, washed their feet and dried them properly, including between the toes. Clean socks, boots left open to air. Removing the grime and moisture helps more than a bloody bouquet.
Then we sat in the sunshine with our toes free and the cherries between us. Pindle was laughing with his mouth full. Nicky opened the basket again, picked up some bread and breathed easy.
Ferdie held up the sock by one corner.
“Shall we save this for Christmas, or does it need longer to mature?”