Today we cook with zero flames and a whole lot of style. The idea is to build a fruit mosaic on a plate, like a colour puzzle, except you’re not framing it, you’re about to absolutely demolish it.

Ingredients:

• 2 bananas (genetic cousins of like half the human race)
• 1 kiwi (classy radioactive green)
• 1 orange or mandarin (segments with attitude)
• 1 apple (go for the crunchiest, juiciest one)
• 1 handful of grapes or blueberries (little balls to fill the gaps)
• 4 to 6 strawberries (for that dramatic red)
• 1 slice of pineapple or mango (to unlock the next tropical level)
• Juice of 1/2 lemon (so the fruit doesn’t go sad and brown)
• Optional: 2 to 3 tablespoons of plain yogurt or whipped fresh cheese (the creamy base)
• Optional, to feel a tiny bit less guilty: the good Nutella

How to make it:

Grab a big plate and pretend it’s your good vibes “Petri dish”. If you’re using yogurt, spread it on the bottom with a spoon, like you’re laying down a tamed little cloud.

Slice the banana into rounds, and do a few half moons too for curves. For the strawberries, cut off the tops and slice them thin, they end up looking like scales from a friendly dragon.

Cut the kiwi into tiny triangles. For the apple, go for little stars if you have a cutter, or thin sticks if you’re in “artist in a hurry” mode. Peel your orange into segments, and dice the pineapple or mango.

Now build the mosaic. Make rows and different shapes, swap colours, fill gaps with grapes or blueberries, and when it starts looking a bit too serious, toss in a couple of wonky pieces.

Let the lemon juice rain down on top so everything stays fresh and shiny. And if you’re feeling cheeky, drop a little drizzle of Nutella in a zigzag, like your mosaic is dancing reggaeton.

Forest tip: if it hurts to break the mosaic, remember that’s life, mate. A gorgeous little masterpiece you’re meant to enjoy by taking a bite. And if today you feel like a weird mix, remember the best platters are the ones with a bit of everything.