This morning we ran into the Vagus Nerve sitting on a rock, looking like a tired civil servant, with a tiny referee whistle.

We go: “Hey mate, you’re the one who makes people drop like a sack of potatoes, right?” And he goes: “Sack of potatoes? Excuse me. I only do preventive shutdowns. Like a laptop when it overheats.” We say: “Well give us a heads-up on WhatsApp, yeah?” And he’s like: “I do. A bit of sweat, a little dizzy spell, tunnel vision… but you lot play tough and stay upright like streetlights.”

Magikito moral: if your body whispers ‘sit down now’, don’t answer ‘later’. The Vagus isn’t mean, he’s just an electrician in a hurry.